The Monster

I have to warn all of you about a terrible monster!!! It's terrible and horrible and very mad! This is a picture of it. Be sure you get a good look at it. They come in different colors and different sizes. This is a bigger sized one. You might first see them attached to your Mom's head when it's warm outside. I've never seem them during the winter, but as soon as it starts getting warm outside I see them attached to Mom's head and then when it gets dark outside then they usually detach from her head and are laying on the coffee table until bedtime and then they dissapear. Last night when it detached from Mom's head, it was in her hand and it turned and started showing it's teeth at me so I barked and barked and barked at it. Mom wasn't helping me at all! She just kept laughing. Dad was in the bathroom and I kept barking for him to come help, but I guess since Mom was laughing he didn't think it was anything bad. I think from now on he'll listen to me though! This went on for quit awhile and of course Mom got the camera out! Here's apicture of me trying to ignore it. See it there in the bottom left corner? Ignoring didn't seem to help any. I thought about throwing one of Mom's sandals you see there on the floor at it, but I'm not very good at throwing and even though after awhile I thought Mom deserved to be hit in the face because she kept laughing at a very serious situation, I decided I better not.
So it finally stopped trying to attach me and Dad came out and asked what in the world was going on and Mom told him (of course she was still laughing) and then Dad laughed and we went outside. When we came back inside, the monster was gone and Mom was getting ready for bed so it must have gone to where ever it goes when it's not attached to her head or trying to attach dogs. That made me very happy (look at my tail! It's up in it's normal position, but still sore if I mess with it too much).
So we went to bed and I kept having nightmares about the monster. At 2 am I finally decided I couldn't sleep anymore. So I got up and started pacing. Nobody else wanted to get up with me and I was bored and it was dark and I didn't want the monster to attack me in the dark when everybody was asleep. So I whined and paced until Mom finally woke up and scooted over and I jumped up and layed in her arms. I made sure she had both arms wrapped around me though for protection. She kept moving and couldn't get comfortable which was really annoying. Dad ended up shutting his alarm clock off so that they could sleep until Mom's went off since he really didn't have to be into work early if he coudln't make it. He made it in for his early time though. Every time Mom came into the bedroom while she was getting ready for work she called me a goofy dog and a butthead! Can you believe she'd call ME names when it was her fault?! If she had stopped the monster from trying to attack me, then we would have both slept good last night!
So watch out for the monsters! Dogs seem to be the only ones that know the seriousness of them. And if anybody knows where they go during the cold days and when it's dark, let me know. I also need to figure out why it attaches to the back of Mom's head. Maybe it's doing something to her brain and that's why she was laughing instead of helping. I'm going to do some research on the internet about this. Maybe if I figure out how to get them to stay away, then maybe Mom's brain will go back to normal and she'll change her mind about getting rid of my chair! I'll let you know what I find out in my research.